nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am available for nakedness
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize