i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
