o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You had me at "let me see your balls"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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