once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
