i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize