Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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