OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
