you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love having hate sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
