dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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