shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
