ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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