My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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