And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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