Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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