I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just invented taco cereal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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