As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
this just has baby written all over it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
