My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
