is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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