the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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