Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
