we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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