I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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