Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
