I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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