i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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