I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
