last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
