i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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