im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
