UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
