the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize