So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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