I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
