Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
