your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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