after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
