Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
