Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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