If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
