no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
