Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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