Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
