Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You left your phone here
Wait...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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