you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
