My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize