well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
