A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
