I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How's work?
Spinning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
