I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
