I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize