Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
