DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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