remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
