There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
