Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
