your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How naked do you want me to be?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
