ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
