I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i love accidental penises.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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