you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize