Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
