I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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